Friday, September 7, 2012


Why am I starting this blog?

It's a long story and likely to be one of my longest posts. As long as I can remember, my family has communicated with one another during difficult times using letters. When I was 12, my mother gave me a letter that basically said that even though she didn't like me very much, she still loved me and would continue to love me through the tough times ahead and she looked forward to the day when I grew out of these teenage hardships. She also once typed up a contract for my brothers and I to help get more buy in for chores around the house. I miss her greatly.

Now, I have a draw full of letters, mostly from my wonderful husband, Doug and my beautiful daughter, Sarah. Notes I'll treasure forever but more often come from hardships and fighting than through love and celebration (I have these too....most of them in the form of birthday and mothers day cards).

I have things I want to say but find them impossible to say. I try but my feelings become so overwhelming that I cannot speak without welling up like a crazy person and by that time I've lost my will and the attention of my audience. "Aw Mom", Sarah will say and hug me and that's it. Can't get it out. Or, out of fear of rejection and coming off as a holy roller which would turn them off. So, I'm going to try this :-)

I've changed, thank God! Really, I'm different and in a good way. Thanks to the course my life has taken over the past 6 or so years. I will attempt to recognize those who made it so but it's really a culmination of activities that brought me to writing this letter.

I'm so grateful for my Christian upbringing and knew I would always raise the kids in the church environment and to know Jesus. I was searching (not very hard) but periodically for a church and mentioned this to a friend at work, one of my dearest friends, Peg LeBel. I told her it was mostly for the kids as I needed to ensure their salvation by seeing them saved and baptized. I told her Doug and  I were both believers so we didn't need church and I made a check mark with my finger "check" going to heaven. She said something to me that didn't really resonate until later in my life, well, very recently actually. She said there was a difference in being saved, check the box, and having a relationship with God. Within a few months, we gathered for a Bible study with another woman from work and this was probably the beginning of a much better life for me.

It's been a rough few years for my family. We lost Randy and Charlie in that horrible crime. We saw his killer tried and sentenced to death. I pray about how I'm supposed to feel about that. I'm still not sure. Mama died. She really suffered too. It was awful to watch but I'm certain even more terrible for her to have to go through it. We removed the life support over 3 years ago but it feels like yesterday sometimes. These things, while terrible and tragic, brought me closer to Him as I reached out for comfort, peace and understanding for myself and my family.

My Uncle encouraged me to join a small group within my church. I had found one and was attending regularly during Mom's illness.  He said I needed a church "family" and that it was important to connect to the body in a more personal way. That's when I joined Toni and Gerald's small group and continued to grow stronger in my faith. This small group got me through the hard times after losing Mom and became an extension of my family, which is pretty large by the way.

This year presented a pinnacle moment for me as I moved out of the corporate world and back into my family's arms. You see, for many, many years I've focused on Mindy, the hard worker, the high achiever, the money maker. This year, He finally broke me and helped me to see the importance of being Mindy, the good mother, the loving wife and the devout follower. I am now happier than I can remember ever being, knowing Him, at complete peace with what my future holds and with the greatest love for people I've ever had in my heart.

It is this moment with His guidance that I begin my letter to those I love.

Please know that I'm writing this from a place of love in my heart and NOT a way to judge or lecture. I just want to share what He has done for me in hopes that you too may someday experience the joy and peace that I've come to know.

Knowing Christ has more to do with today than the afterlife. He helps you today with getting through the stress of work, the worry over your children, the pain of sickness. This is what my friend meant when she said "relationship". I want to share this with you, my friends and family.  If you are struggling, He is working on you.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm not claiming to be perfect here. I meant to mention that. I struggle too, I make mistakes and wrong choices. But not as often as I used to :-)

I know He is watching over me. He answers my prayers. I know things I couldn't possibly know because of my relationship with Him. Really! It's called discernment and it's Biblical. He helps me make decisions. He helps me sleep at night. He brings me peace when I'm anxious or nervous or angry. He is providing for my family at this time when I'm not making very much money, but we have enough.

I pray for my family to know You, Lord. To trust you and put their faith and future in Your hands. Please watch over them and guide them down your path. I know when they struggle You are working on them because through times of struggle is when we turn to You. I thank You Lord for working your way in me and for giving me the idea and the courage to start writing this blog. I pray it will reach those I love and help them not only get through this life but to ENJOY it. That's what I've found in You. Love, peace and joy.

Special Thanks from my soul to those who have influenced me over the past few years. Thanks to Mom and Grandma for giving me the Christian basis for which I could return when I needed to, when the time was perfect for me to be receptive to His guidance. Thanks to those of you who took the time to read this far. Please reach out to me if you want to talk or add your own letter. We must share the good news and encourage one another so that we may all enjoy this precious life we're given and fulfill our destinies here on this Earth.

With all the love I could possible conjure up...

Mindy

3 comments:

  1. Welcome to the world of blogging...(Lois)

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  2. Thanks Lois. I'm a little nervous but am following on this one.

    For my lovely daughter, Sarah. Your Grandmother loved me very much. It's just 12 year old daughters can be challenging with their disrespect and eagerness to grow up too fast. She was saying that no matter what I did, that she would love me through it. Clearly we were having a tough time as she had to write it in a letter :-) Sorry you misunderstood. I was very well loved.

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  3. Beautiful Mindy! I, too, am working on building a relationship with God, and credit Him 100% for saving my marriage to your brother. Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to sharing with you more in the future. I Love You!!!

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